workign title: Practically Royalty

Practically Royalty


I

I walk everyday to school. I pass the Pinaglabanan all the time. I never see it as anything more than a hive for squatters.

Years before anyone cared, the tunnel, you know, the one where Bonifacio and his men passed to escape from the Kastilas.

Yeah, that tunnel. Squatters filled it with garbage…piles and piles of garbage.

Imagine Bonifacio digging through trash while they try to escape certain death. It just makes you laugh.

Wait, was it really Bonifacio?

Oh well, I was never that good in history anyway.

Why am I talking about the Pinaglabanan when I have a test in Math today.

Math, another subject that I’m not good at.

Who cares, really, about the things they teach in school? Which job (and I don’t mean those low-paying thankless jobs) actually requires you to know trigonometry? Will your boss ever ask you “who was the guy that gave-up last to Americans?”

Hmmm…that was Macapagal, right? No, she’s still alive and she’s a girl. I bet, whoever the guy is, that the Americans killed him the moment they saw him.

There’s this foreigner in class. He’s from India. He said he was a Kasatri-whatever. His name is Akmud. He said that he’s practically royalty.

Hehe, Royalty. I thought that was a brand of spaghetti.

He prances about the school hallways, making sure everyone knows he is practically Royalty. I don’t like it when he passes by my chair. He smells terrible and he has dandruff.

I wonder why they’re in the Philippines. I mean if they’re practically Royalty there, wouldn’t they prefer to live there than here where Royalty means a brand of spaghetti or being relatives with political dynasties (that’s what my dad told me, “Yang mga politico nay an! Di naman dapat sila naklaupo diyan! Naghahariharian dito sa siyudad natin purkit buong angkan nila nagging mayor na ditto!” I think he was drunk when he told me that. He was laid off that day. He worked for the office of the mayor. He was replaced by a son-in-law of the new mayor. My mom told me that).

One time, during recess, Akmud sat beside me. Maybe he couldn’t find another loser to brag about his being practically royalty.

“What do you want, Akmud?” I asked him, without looking over my math homework that I failed to do last night.

“It’s Ahk-muk-od,” he told me in that unusual nasaly accent of his. “Help me with my Filipino homework.”

“No way!” I yelled back. This time, I looked him in the eye. Can’t he see that I’m busy with my own homework?

“Okay, just let me copy from your test paper on tomorrow’s homework.” AHk-muk-od said.

“No way!” I said again. “Don’t you have servants to do something about that?”

“I don’t have servants,” he sheepishly looked away, “I am not in India anymore. I do not know your language. I will fail school if I don’t pass this test.”

“Why me?” was all I could say.

“Because you are best in Filipino.”

“Okay. Make sure the teacher don’t catch us.” I simply told him. He praised me. I thought he was going to insult how lowly I was because I wasn’t Indian or a kasatriwathever.


(di pa tapos)

Stepping on Niccolo Machiavelli

 While I was browsing for books in fully booked, gateway, I dropped my baggage counter card. Yes, my bag was that big.

I  never noticed it; but, the white and black floorboard are actually chapters of Niccolo Machiavelli's book The Prince. Correct me ifI'm wrong; but, I'm positively sure that the chapters are from The Prince.

Yes, I was the freako you saw bending down to read the floorboards. I've been going to fully booked gateway since highschool. I thought the the floorboards were black and white squigly lined patterns. I bet few people noticed it too.

It's not surprising that people ignore these kinds of things. Who cares about The Prince being stepped on by random people? Hardly anyone knows about the book.

And yes, I know I'm a freako for bragging about what I noticed in a random visit to the bookstore.

Personal

hahaha, i deleted it.

Writer's Block: Exercise #1

I have one hell of a writer's block today. It couldn't have come at a more inconvenient opportunity.

"Please go away now! You're in the way of my dreams!" I say to my suddenly be-fleshed writer's block.

Crap! I wish I didn't turn down that job offer I got before graduation. I wouldn't be in this situation if I took it.

Again, crap.

I read this online article on writer's block on how to eliminate it. Last tip said that I should do writing exercises to make the creative juices flow. It sounds like I have angina or coronary blockage or something.

But, what the crap, I'm desperate to try absolutely anything.

http://www.meredithsuewillis.com/writingexercises1-20.html

Exercise #1

I see a house - an old, ramshackle living space that was abandoned not long ago by confused farmers. I say confused because the house is situated in the wilderness. The house looks like a chicken coop. Maybe it is a chicken coop. So a chicken must be living in there.

No way. Undomesticated carnivorous animals should have eaten the chicken by the time I see the picture so I imagine the house empty.

Except, maybe on days when lovers with no place to display their loving go to express love. err. It kind of looks like the house in Jennifer Love Hewitt's movie, If Only. Yep, that's where they had sex.

Maybe, a hobo lives there now. I imagine the house to be near a lake. The hobo probably gets his food from the lake. He can fish for food. He could tie a string on his big toe and wait for an unsuspecting fish to be forced by gravity to be someone else's hearty meal.

Alright, I feel the the blood rushing through my unhealthy, flabby, clogged writer's veins. I don't think I need to add more.

Step # 1 said that I should step away from my computer or paper when I have writer's block. I think I'll do that and clog my veins some more with mind-numbing "Si Manny Villar ang magtatapos ng ating kahirapan!"

Crappy elections.

Openrice

http://ph.openrice.com/info/review_promo/index.html

so i won't forget

William Shatner

While on my  writig hiatus/ vacation from real life, i was in cavite, gaining weight and rotting brains with television and sudoku.

I've done 36 puzzles (skipped five of those when I realized that I ade a mistake and had to start over).

I finally watched a movie, no make that three movies, after such a long time of skimping my student allowance, which, by the way, I am no longer entitled to since I am not an undergraduate student anymore.

Our DVD player bit the dust last year after indulging myself with one and a half series of Heroes. I like Masi Oka. I am the ultimate geek in my family, well, maybe not ultimate. I do admit to being a geek.

So while lounging around the small but comfortable grandma's home, feeling incessantly guilty and losing as much self-esteem as fast as Heidi Montague decides to have plastic surgery or as fast as Joe Jonas changing girlfriends, I sat down to watch a movie with my family on my tita's big screen television and very workable DVD player.

I watched Star Trek alone. We all watched Julia and Julie and Sweeny Todd: Demon Barber from Hell.

Imagine the gore as we ate cooked instant panit canton and pandesal while we watched Sweeny Todd.

Julie and Julia made my blog look like a frivolous activity since it doesn't have a goal other than publish my rants. Oh well, I'm happy.

I like Star Trek most of all. I watched the series, of course. I'm not some noob, trying to pass on as a Star Trek fan and an ultimately hot geek just because 2009 Spock is very hot and very irrisistable.

Hey, Captain Kirk (or was it Kurt, alright, I admit that I'm not a die-hard fan. I just like the story. plus 70's Captain Kirk/Kurt is hot. I wish somebody should correct me on some of my misgivings about Star Trek. For now, I'll use Kirk).

70's Captain Kirk was played by William Shatner. I knew that William shatner was a big name in the 70's.

I saw his name on the credits of Boston Legal and nonchalantly brushed it off as his comeback to Hollywood.

It wasn't until Bjorn told me that 70's Captain Kirk is the same William Shatner that made me freak.

I repeat, 70's Captain Kirk is bsolutely the BOMB.

Why is 2009 William Shatner so cute and plump and sexist?

Err. What happened?

Of course, he aged. Star Trek was 30 years ago.

Anyway, I still like both series.

And yes, this blog post is me freaking out over the realization that Captain Kirk and the Boston Legal guy (I never bothered to know their Lawyer names) are both played by William Shatner.

William Shatner

William Shatner

William Shatner

William Shatner

William Shatner

William Shatner

What the crap? 

Oh well, Space: The Last Frontier.

or was it the final frontier?

Will blog for $5

I watched an episode of attack of the show twice yesterday. I don't understand why I did. Maybe that's all I do now. watch television. get worked up for not doing anyting at all. eat the feeling off then sleep. crap. "buhay-baboy" ika nga.

crap.

I watched. I got learned. Get $5 for doing random things. chekc out the site


www.fiverr.com.

Some are cool others are just silly.